Mom and I Rocking
What is my earliest memory?
I think I was really young. Which is weird. I don’t think I remember many years after this moment. It's really early memory. It was when I was probably still in a crib. I was maybe two years old. I remember waking up, or more so just existing in the moment. I don’t remember before or after it. Just in that moment. Of me being in my mothers arms. And she’s rocking me in the rocking chair singing Amazing Grace. The rocking chair was in my room. In the house I lived in on Ross Street.
I think I was really young. Which is weird. I don’t think I remember many years after this moment. It's really early memory. It was when I was probably still in a crib. I was maybe two years old. I remember waking up, or more so just existing in the moment. I don’t remember before or after it. Just in that moment. Of me being in my mothers arms. And she’s rocking me in the rocking chair singing Amazing Grace. The rocking chair was in my room. In the house I lived in on Ross Street.
It was sometime in the evening because I remember the hall
light was on and my room light was not.
So the lighting was dim. She reminded me of an, almost heavenly figure. Her
voice was soft, as though she thought I was sleeping and did not want to wake
me. It’s very odd because I don’t remember really much after that. I actually
don’t remember living in that house that much, come to think of it. I have a few memories. But those were when I was maybe four years
old. We moved when I was five.
That first memory of mom and I rocking, it was very calming. I think my mom was in a nightgown and I
remember looking up at her. I can still
envision the angle I was at. I saw my
mothers face. That was the moment I
really recognized my mother for the first time. In that moment I felt so safe. I was so young. I remember the strong impression
it made on me.
Hey Michelle!
ReplyDeleteI think you've done a great job finding your voice. I actually read this in your voice, and could picture you telling the story.
The only comment I would make is that I felt your opening paragraph had a couple choppy lines. This does help the reader with imaging you telling the story, but it threw me off a bit. So I would recommend maybe trying combining a few of your thoughts something like this...
I think I was really young, probably still in a crib which is weird. I was probably around two. I remember waking up, or more so just existing in the moment. I don’t remember the years before or after. I only remember being in that moment in my mother’s arms. She’s rocking me in the rocking chair in my room, singing Amazing Grace in the house I lived in on Ross Street.
Does this help?
:)
Hi Michelle,
ReplyDeleteWhat a refreshing family memory! I can picture a strong mother-daughter relationship being formed. Are you and your mother close now?
The only comment I would have is the repetition of you being unsure of the exact details of the memory. If you mention in the beginning that you were only two years old and the details are vague, then you can paint the picture moving forward as what you do remember instead of pointing out what you are unsure of. Does this make sense?
I hope my comment is helpful and that you are enjoying your “spring” break!
Tanis
These are great comments! After reading it again, with both of your comments in mind I see where I can re-word and change sentences to make it flow better. I appreciate your feed back and will be making changes to the blog post!
ReplyDelete